Sunday, October 15, 2006

It's 4 a.m. I ought to be sleeping, but I'm not. I ought to be studying, but I'm not.

I'm having my usual bouts of worthlessness- something that's happening very often nowadays. I'm tired of a lot of things, and I don't think I have the courage to walk away from others, let alone walking away from myself- or a part of myself I have grown to detest.

Na Kisi Ki Aankh Ka Noor Hoon
Na Kisi Ke Dil Ka Qaraar Hoon
Jo Kisi Ke Kaam Na Aa Sake
Main Woh Ek Musht-e-Gubaar Hoon.

Bahadur Shah Zafar, or so he claimed. Circa 1860.

This is not really supposed to be a blog entry. After three years, my blog seems to be fulfilling the purpose of a diary as well. But then, what is the point of a diary visible to the world? Am I trying to prove I have nothing to hide?

It's odd, but unlike other people. I have never composed a blog entry. I write,and after writing, I edit the spelling and grammar. My drafts folder has perpetually been empty.